SATURDAY NOVEMBER 3, 2018: Funeral for Bill Doughty

Leading Us All on a Path to God

Beloveds, it was not long ago that many of us gathered in this space here today, were here to celebrate the life and ministry of Dee Doughty, the love of Bill’s life. In the days leading up to Dee’s death, I had the chance to sit with Bill and listen. I listened as he shared about the life he had lived and adored, and I listened as he shared about the family that he was so proud of, and I listened as he spoke about the bride who despite the effects of dementia, still captured his heart each and every day.

I listened to Bill speak in the same way that he read the mighty Old Testament lessons that he loved to read as a lector in this church. In his voice, one could feel his conviction and belief, and his ability to pull a listener in was captivating. This is perhaps why last year, I received a note from him that said, “Please only schedule me to read the Old Testament lessons.” Of course, it was an easy request to grant. Sitting in Dee’s room, I listened to Bill as he recalled the joys of his life. He spoke about the accomplishments of his three sons and their beautiful families. His pride for each member of the family came through in the broken voice that choked back tears when he spoke your names. Not only was he proud of his children and grandchildren’s lives, he was proud of the human beings they’ve become and the causes for which they stand. Bill went on about how all three of their sons adored their mother, and in return how much they both loved them. The joy all three sons and their families brought Bill and Dee life, vitality, and joy, and gave them incredible happiness.

Bill went on with stories of yesteryear about his own family of origin, as well as he shared more stories of when his own boys were growing up. Bill went on about all the many things both he and Dee were involved with that they hoped made a long lasting impression on their own children and grandchildren, alike. Bill went on at length about the love of his life that lay there, beside him, the one for whom he tenderly cared for right up until the end. At Dee’s service, just before we placed her ashes into the ground, I heard Bill say to her, “Honey, I’ll see you soon.” Little did we know just how soon.

On my way to the hospital after I heard that Bill had died, it occurred to me that the last time Bill had communion was at the funeral for his beloved Dee. That this meal—this spiritual food—that we shared with Bill and Dee for years around this altar—became the last meal Bill shared with all of us, too. For a couple so dedicated to food outreach and ministry, I couldn’t help but wonder about all the many simple meals they provided for hungry souls all throughout Chicagoland these last several decades, and the trail of crumbs that lay so beautifully in their wake.

In today’s gospel, we are seeing an exchange play out between Jesus and his disciples about the place where Jesus is going to next; a place that the disciples are also able to go—but not for some time to come. Jesus is taken back by the disciples’ confusion about where they think this place is—and their concern is that they wouldn’t know how to get there if Jesus were to leave them now after already having done so much together. They are anxious, uncomfortable, and sad that their leader might leave them and not take them with him. What Jesus tries to help them see is that where he is going, is a place clearly marked by their hearts and the work they have been doing. Jesus tries to help them see that they already know this place, that they already know the way to God, because they do the work of Jesus.

Jesus reiterates that preparing for the life that is to come, involves our living into this current one with all of our heart, and that the natural effect of our doing this work, is that we make a pathway to God. This gospel is a call to mission—it is a call to do the work of our God among all of God’s people. It is doing the work of loving people well, of feeding them when they are hungry, and it is capturing the image of God stamped throughout creation, the cosmos, and in one another, and celebrating it.

Beloveds, Bill Doughty lived a life that helped us all to better know our God. Through the ways in which he advocated for and sought out food and economic justice, Bill left us with a trail of breadcrumbs that lead us directly to the Holy. Through all the ways he captured beautiful moments of humanity and creation through watercolor, he painted for us another image of the Divine in every piece, giving us understanding about this God we know and love, who resides in each of us, and calls us beloved.

Bill scattered bread crumbs everywhere he went. With every person fed through his efforts, he left more crumbs in the trail he made toward God. He made for us a path that we recognize, a path that leads to our God, to that place where every injustice is made right—where humanity and creation are at peace—to that place where there is no sorrow, and where death cannot destroy.

Beloveds, Bill Doughty loved the Lord, and his life was proof that living in a way that made a difference was of the upmost importance to him.

When I first came to St. Augustine’s, one of the questions that many people asked me was: “Have you met with Bill and Dee?” People spoke to what kind and generous people they were, and how they have been the matriarch and patriarch of this church for such a long time. I soon learned that all the beautiful tings said about them, were entirely true. By the time that I met Bill and Dee, Bill was a fulltime caretaker for his bride; and mixed in with updates about how Dee was feeling, were stories about the many years they had as active ministry participants in our beloved church and throughout the North Shore.

One of the first things I was shown when I came to this church was the artwork that is on the front of your bulletin today. This particular piece entitled, Holy Sep-ul-kr, was inspired by Bill and Dee’s 1999 trip to the Holy Land and a larger version of it hangs in our chapel. Of the piece, Bill said, “The feelings of ancientness and holiness, and the crying needs for reconciliation, all inspired me to seek deeper levels of meaning in my art.” His words and his art, they so captivated me, and I began to ask around about other paintings of Bill’s that I could take in.

One of those paintings, was one that Bill did in the summer of 2016 following the PULSE Nightclub shootings in Orlando, FL. This piece moved me in a way I was not anticipating. The intricate details of expression on all the faces represented in the scape, the way in which the colors bleed, and the inspiration it invites, is striking. Of the piece, Bill said: “I knew I needed to respond to the Orlando tragedy in some way. It was deep inside me. So on Tuesday June 14, two days afterward, I did this painting. I named it "Darkness Shall Not Overcome". It means that, not just LGBT people, but all of us together will assure that the promises of the Rainbow will prevail.”

What brings me nearly to tears upon hearing Bill’s words time and time again, is that Bill believed that it was up to all of us doing everything in our power, to make our world a place where everyone is safe, a place where everyone is fed, and a place everyone knows they are beloved of God. That’s certainly the world Bill worked towards, and it’s the church he prayed for.

Within these walls, Bill worked tirelessly for outreach missions, and helping find resources for local agencies doing amazing work. He sought tangible ways that the people of this church could engage the world in ways that produced outcomes for them, improved life, and optimism. Bill cared about everything he put his hand to, and he has left mighty dreams to fulfill.

Crumb by crumb, Bill, your life, and your actions in this world, have led us to God.

Meal after meal, painting after painting, the pathways you’ve made to the God who holds us all, leaves us a changed people.

Where you have gone, we know one day that we shall see you again, and so until then, we thank you. We thank you for coloring our lives with the love of God, and for allowing the holy to work through you in this community, and in our hearts.



Deacon Sue Nebel

This has been a hard week.  Hard for us as a nation.  Hard for many of us on a personal level.  The sight of world leaders laughing in response to statements by our President about his accomplishments and this great country.  Scorn and anger I have seen before, but never laughter. Then the anticipation and media buildup to the Senate Judiciary Committee session on Thursday.  Headlines about new allegations of sexual misconduct.  Speculation about who would say what.  Predictions about the fate of the Supreme Court nomination itself.  I would guess that many of you, like me, watched the hearings on Thursday. 

I listened as Christine Blasey Ford described in painful detail her experience of sexual assault as a teenager. I listened as she responded to questions, again and again, reliving her deeply emotional experience.  Its lasting effects that have shaped and affected her life.  Her emphatic statement that the person who attacked her was Brett Kavanaugh, and her affirmation that she was 100% sure of that identification.  As I heard and saw her pain, I could not help but think of all the women, and some men as well, who have experienced sexual assault or harassment.  The social movement known as #MeToo that has emboldened women to come forward and share their experiences.  We know there are many of them. I thought too of women who, for reasons of their own, have remained silent.  So many stories.  So much pain.  I could feel my body tensing up, an ache forming around my heart.  A feeling that would stay with me through the rest of the day. 

Then, in the afternoon session, it was Brett Kavanaugh’s turn to speak.  I listened to his anger at the damage caused to his family and to himself by the accusation leveled against him.  His indignation at the possible denial of a position to which he felt entitled because of his background and his accomplishments. I heard his insistence that he was not present at the gathering described by Dr. Ford.  The actions that she described were not his. His denials of statements from others about his drinking habits and their effect on his behavior.  His declaration that he was 100% sure that he was not guilty of sexual assault. 

And then, there was the whole political scene.  We witnessed senators criticizing actions and lack of actions that had led up to the hearing.  Democrats and Republicans alike made self-serving speeches about their own role in that process. They pointed fingers and leveled barbs at each other.  At times they seemed more interested in going after each other than focusing on the two people testifying before them.  It was partisanship on full display.  Deeply disappointed and angry, I wondered when we would ever hear the term “bi-partisan cooperation” again.  A glimmer of hope came when it was announced that the two sides had agreed to request further investigation and the confirmation vote would be delayed.

So where are we?  What are we to do in the midst of these events in our national life?  As citizens, we can vote. We can send letters to our Senators and Representatives.  We can demonstrate?  But what else can we do?  What can we do as people of faith? We have come here this morning to gather as the faith community of St. Augustine’s.   Committed to living out our recurring theme: Everybody. Everybody. Everybody.  This parish is part of the wider Episcopal Church whose Presiding Bishop Michael Curry insistently and persistently reminds us to keep our focus on Jesus.  Jesus.  Jesus who commands us to love our neighbor.  With “Everybody, Everybody, Everybody” at our core, we pride ourselves on our hospitality. We welcome familiar faces and newcomers as they walk into this place on Sunday morning.  We invite all who are here to share the Eucharistic meal of bread and wine.  We strive to understand “neighbor” in the broadest sense: people we know and people we don’t know.  People with whom we have a relationship and those we encounter for the first time.  People who look like us and people whose skin color or ethnic background is different than ours. 

What if we stretch ourselves, to think of neighbor in another way? What if we begin to look at people we meet differently?  As I watched the events and heard the stories on Thursday, I remembered something I learned from a friend not long ago. He told me the story of being in the car with his mother.  He was sixteen years old and had just gotten his license.  He was driving.  In front of them was an elderly woman going slowly, well below the speed limit.  Frustrated and impatient, he shouted, “Come on, lady, get a move on!  I don’t have all day.”  His mother snapped at him, “Hold on there! You have no idea what is going on with that woman.  She might be on the way home from the hospital where her husband has just died.  She could be struggling to hold herself together so she can make it.”  He said he never forgot what she said to him.  Since then, he has tried to be aware that anyone he meets—at any time, in any situation—may be carrying heavy burdens that he knows nothing about.

What if each one of us, with intentionality and self-awareness, began to look at people with that kind of lens?  What might be going on with them that we cannot see or know?  What if we carry in our own hearts an openness and a deep care for the whole person of everyone we encounter?  What if our facial expression, our tone of voice, our words of greeting express what is deep in our hearts?  I see you as a person of value. I care about you.  I am ready to welcome you. To listen to you. To walk with you.  Sadly, we know from Christine Blasey Ford’s testimony in Washington the kind of pain someone who has experienced sexual assault carries within them.  We know it from her story.  We know it from the voices of demonstrations and marches, from stories we have heard and, perhaps ones we have lived, that such experiences are widespread.  People carry all kinds of pain. We need to always be aware of that and care for them, however we can.

We know so well from the stories of Jesus’ ministry that it started small.  His mission was carried forward by the actions of a group of disciples, starting with just twelve and probably increasing to larger numbers.  In time, Jesus drew big crowds, but the core of the work that produced  growth was small, individual actions.  Those small actions add up.  They begin to change things.  Eventually they build something big that has significant impact.  That is what our own commitment to openness of heart and the actions that express it could do.  Who knows what we might build? Who knows where it might lead us?

Focus. Keep focused on Jesus, Bishop Curry tells us.  Jesus often had to remind his disciples of the same thing. To keep focused.  In last week’s Gospel lesson, the disciples were talking among themselves about who was the greatest.  Jesus reminded them that if they wanted to be first, then they had to be last.  They were to be servants and serve everyone.  In today’s lesson, the disciples are fretting because they have seen someone they do not know casting out demons in Jesus’ name.  They want him to put a stop to it.  Don’t worry, Jesus tells them. “Whoever is not against us is for us.”  A person performing acts of healing and love is helping the ministry he started.  They are helping it grow and move forward.  That is just fine with Jesus. Using the everyday image of salt, Jesus works to get the disciples focused.  Salt is good. It makes things better.  In Jesus’ time of no refrigeration, salt preserved food. It was essential to life.  Have salt in yourselves, Jesus tells them.  Be salt and be at peace with each other.  What Jesus doesn’t say here, or at least it isn’t recorded, but I can imagine him saying is: “Be strong. Now there’s work to be done. Get going! 

That is the pattern of discipleship.  The pattern of those early disciples and of us, as disciples in our time.  We start out strong. We venture into new territory.  We stretch ourselves. Then our resolve weakens or we get distracted. We need to refocus and gather strength before we set out once again.  To love and care for one another.  To help us gather strength for that work, I offer this prayer, shared with me by a ministry colleague.  Let us pray.

Holy One, in love you created us and called it good. Grant us the deep wisdom of your love that, wherever this day leads, our lives may remain rooted in your goodness, through Jesus Christ our Lord.  Amen.

Proper 21; Year B

Esther 7:1-6,9-10;9:20-22; Psalm 124; James 5:13-20; Mark 9:38-50

Sunday, September 16, 2018, The Rector's Farewell

Kristin White

John 1:1-14, 16

“In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not anything made that was made. What came into being in him was life, and the life was the light of all people. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

“And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, full of grace and truth. From God’s fullness have we all received, and grace upon grace.”

 I believe that these words from John’s gospel are the poetry of creation. Jesus was there from the beginning of the beginning as the Word, before anything was made that was made.  The Word is the co-creating author of life, which was the light that has not, is not, and will not be overcome.

And then the Word became flesh. In the person of Jesus, God had a body. God became like us, in order to be with us. God came to dwell with us, in order that we might know God. In the person of Jesus, God shared the truth of love. In the person of Jesus, God gave us grace upon grace.

How have you seen the truth of love? Where have you encountered grace upon grace? 

I found it right here, six years ago, when I became your new rector. On the day we moved in, Carolyn Eby stocked our refrigerator with cheese and fruit, Christine Sammel and Bill Braun dropped by with gluten-free lemon bars, and Martha Jacobson took us out to dinner.

In the days and weeks that followed, when I asked you to meet for coffee or lunch, you said yes. So I found grace over coffee, or sometimes French fries (okay, more than sometimes), or on a walk. We shared something of ourselves over those meals and conversations. We began to weave ourselves together.

When we found ourselves in a season of loss, burying ten of our beloved members in less than six short months, the truth of love was made manifest in the willingness you had to grieve together as a community. We talked about hard and frightening things, like illness and death and what we hold dear. We prayed, offering ourselves, our souls and bodies, to the God who has known us since we were knit together in our mothers’ wombs.

When people have been sick or in need, I have watched you surround and enfold them with grace. You have mowed lawns. You have delivered groceries. You have done laundry. You have held babies. When my brother-in-law died, I will never forget standing in Puhlman Hall as Margaret Duval said, in your gracious and matter-of-fact way, “Okay, so I’ll bring you dinner when you get back from the funeral in Oregon. Would that be better on Sunday night or Monday night?” And when I, who know how to give but am less practiced at knowing how to receive, tried to politely decline, Margaret -- you said again: “Okay, so I’ll bring you dinner when you get back from Oregon. Would that be better on Sunday night or Monday night?” Grace upon grace upon grace.

The truth of love in this parish has meant that everybody, everybody, everybody has the chance to take part. The question of what that meant for children to participate as full members in worship – that question was a real and important one. And now we have more and more children who know this church to be their home. They pray the Lord’s Prayer by heart. They know the best places for hide and seek (I am confident of this, because they made me a map, and I’m taking it with me). They have friends here, and a circle of trustworthy adults who cherish them. 

We have found grace in service, and in telling the story of our faith as we share the gifts God has given us. Last summer I walked over to church on a Sunday afternoon, and heard a little girl calling to me as she rode her bicycle on the street. “Excuse me! Excuse me!” she called. “Do you work at that church?” I said that I did. “I used to live at Family Promise,” she said. “That window was where my room was, where our family lived, and I was a cat for Halloween.” She and her family have their own place to live in Evanston now, thanks, in part, to you. I invited her to come back to St. A’s and go trick-or-treating for Halloween this year.

We have talked about the things we needed to talk about, over these past six years, even when those discussions have been difficult. There is love in truth, and grace amidst the vulnerability of offering yourself with curiosity and trust. We have found our way through such occasions together, toward a greater wholeness. We have ventured into conversations about racism. We have talked about gun violence and how to best prepare for the emergencies we pray will never happen, but could. We have sought to put our faith into action in the world. We’ve asked questions about who has not been included here, and why, and what we can do to remedy that. We have tried to listen, and tried again. We have learned and grown.

And we have found the grace to let ministries end, when the time has come, or helped them to change, or begun something new. Grace upon grace upon grace.

So now it is time for us to step into different spaces in the poetry of creation, as our paths diverge. Jesus is still in our midst, still the co-creator, without whom there will not be anything made that is made. While this transition is new and maybe unsettling and strange for both of us, I pray that we all will trust in the provision of God’s fullness.

As I have said before: you have everything you need. You know how to pray, and to welcome people, and give thanks. You know how to ask good questions and how to listen, and you have the courage to offer honest answers. You know the value of relationships. You know how to lead, and to serve. You have tremendous capacity for change – I know that, because I tested it, and you responded with the willingness to try…and with occasional honest feedback. You know how to take care of each other. And you know the importance of good food shared, and a healthy sense of humor.

You are the Church which is the Body of Christ which is the Word made flesh. And I love you, and have given this ministry all I know how to give. Where I have served well, I give thanks to you and to God. Where I have fallen short, I ask God’s forgiveness, and yours.

Your next leaders will be necessarily different than I am…because of course they will. But also, because the needs of this church have changed over the past six years. We are not who we were, and there’s grace in that. So I bid you to trust this process of discernment that lies ahead of you. Do all those things that you know how to do as the church that you are: pray and sing and give thanks and live generously and welcome people and take care of each other and lead and follow and be curious and tell the truth and give yourselves the chance to laugh. Hold each other dear, because you are. And give your interim minister and then your next rector the grace to find their way with you, just as you did with me.

The Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, full of grace and truth. Beloved of God, you are the Church, which is the Body of Christ, which is the Word made flesh. So be who you are, in this poetry of new creation, full of grace; full of truth.

Because from God’s fullness have we all received. And grace upon grace.

Sunday, September 9, 2018, The Sixteenth Sunday after Pentecost

Kristin White

Mark 8:27-38

These are the four sayings that lead to wisdom:

“I was wrong. I’m sorry. I don’t know. I need help.”

Armand Gamache serves as head and Chief Inspector of the Sûreté du Quebec, serving the communities throughout that region in times of danger and devastation. Chief Inspector Gamache is the steady leader who earns people’s trust, going to the dark places where murders can be solved, staying with people through times of pain, holding space where frightening truths can be told. He has taken bullets and lost people he loves.

And he is entirely fictional.

Louise Penny has written fourteen mystery novels that include the good and very human inspector and his family, and his quirky circle of friends who have become like family. Chief Inspector Gamache is the one they look to, for direction and encouragement and truth and hope. And yes, for wisdom.

And even though the character who says them is a work of fiction, those four saying that lead to wisdom ring true.

In the first book of the series with Inspector Gamache at the center, he instructs a young detective, one who is anxious to get past the training and to the work of the job itself, by saying this:

“There are four things that lead to wisdom. You ready for them?...They are four sentences we learn to say, and mean.” Gamache held up his hand as a fist and raised a finger with each point. “I don't know. I'm sorry. I was wrong. I need help.”[1]


Today’s gospel invites all kinds of commentary about the nature of God in the person of Jesus. Jesus goes into the region of Tyre, a place where Gentiles live – not faithful Jews. His last conversation before this, the gospel passage from last Sunday, was in Jerusalem, first with Pharisees and scribes and the crowd, and then alone in a house with his disciples. He talked then about the worry of clean versus unclean, about the mistake of elevating ritual law above God’s word. He said that piece about what goes into you cannot defile you, but that the danger is in what comes out.

From there he goes to the region of Tyre, and today’s passage tells us he enters a house and does not want anyone to know he is there. Why he’s in that region, we don’t know. Why he wants to escape notice, we don’t know. But this is Jesus, so – even among the Gentiles – of course the people know he is there.

The Bible talks with some frequency about unclean spirits, in ways that we mostly don’t, today. Whatever they involve, however they are defined and experienced, the people in the Bible who have them, or whose family members have them, are held captive by such things. The mother of a daughter with an unclean spirit hears that Jesus has come to their community. To be clear: the woman is not a Jew. She is a Gentile, of Syrophoenician origin. Her afflicted daughter is also a Gentile, not a faithful Jew. And remember, his troubles with the Pharisees and the Sadducees and the scribes and the temple priests notwithstanding, Jesus was Jewish. And remember also: he has just finished telling his disciples and the crowd and the Pharisees to get over their fixation on rules that would stand as obstacles to love.

The woman falls at his feet and begs Jesus to free her daughter from the unclean spirit that holds her captive.

(When is the last time you have fallen at someone’s feet? Ever?)

And Jesus, the same Jesus who has just finished telling those who follow him that it is not what goes into them that defiles them but what comes out of them – things like wickedness, and pride, and folly – that is what defiles them…Jesus says to the distressed mother begging at his feet for her daughter’s life: “Let the children be fed first, for it is not fair to take the children’s food and throw it to the dogs.”

“There are four things that lead to wisdom...They are four sentences we learn to say, and mean: I don't know. I'm sorry. I was wrong. I need help.”[2]

Biblical commentators have contorted themselves all over the place to rescue Jesus from this passage, to force him to be consistent with the compassionate and generous savior we believe him to be. After all, this is the only place anywhere in the Bible where he refuses a person who asks him specifically for healing.[3] So maybe he doesn’t really mean it, some argue. Maybe he is having a bad day. Maybe this is a joke, and he’s actually teasing the woman by calling her a dog, by calling her child a dog (which, given the circumstances, just seems cruel). At the end of it all, though, we just don’t know why he does this.

This mother’s child is in danger, though. And so things that might otherwise be material, like manner and custom and propriety, all those things are gone for her…because her daughter is in danger. She is fearless and she is tenacious and she is insistent and, in that moment, she is a theologian. “Even the dogs under the table eat the children’s crumbs,” she replies. ‘Give me something,’ she is saying, to the one she knows holds the power to heal. Nothing else matters, except that he give her something – give her child something – because she knows that that will be enough. And it is. “For saying that, you may go,” he tells her, “The demon has left your daughter.”

Jesus changes his mind. And even though he doesn’t say those four statements that lead to wisdom, at least not as written in the biblical text, we might infer them; we might overlay them on this exchange.


Today’s gospel continues after that conversation. Jesus returns to Jewish territory near the Sea of Galilee, where his followers bring him a man who is deaf and unable to speak. This time, Jesus does not refuse the opportunity to heal the person. He takes the man aside, he touches the man’s ears and his mouth, and says to him, “Be opened.”

Be opened. 

The advice of most biblical commentaries is to tell preachers to choose one or the other of these stories. But this week, they feel like whole cloth. They feel related, as though the first informs the second. As though the first makes the second possible.

We are walking into an unknown territory in these times ahead, which may feel foreign. And with that comes the grief of change, the grief of parting after what has been a rich six years of shared ministry – for which I give you, and God, such thanks.

And with that also comes the added grief in this community with the loss of those we love but see no longer. Eight weeks ago today, our long-time member Dee Doughty departed this life, followed the week before last by beloved Gwen Johnson, and this past Tuesday by Dee’s dear husband Bill Doughty. As they join that blessed cloud of witnesses, may they be enfolded in God’s love; may they feast among the saints in light. As we walk these days ahead, I pray that we all will be guided by their faithful witness. I pray that we all will carry the legacy of their deep love for this church.

People of St. Augustine’s, we carry the great gifts of all those who have come before us, gifts that are meant to be shared with a world that starves after the practical love and honest care and faithfulness that you have to offer. You have before you the opportunity to go from strength to strength. This time ahead can be one of preparation and growth, with awareness that you belong to each other, and to God, that you have everything you need. Victor Conrado is here with us today from the Bishop’s staff, prepared to answer questions that you may have about the interim and the transition to calling your next rector. You have exceptionally gifted leaders in your wardens and vestry, and an associate rector and deacon, both of whom are strong, loving, and wise.

Be open, in this time ahead. Carry with you the humility that allows you to say those words that lead to wisdom, and mean them, when you need to: I don’t know. I’m sorry. I was wrong. I need help. Cherish and trust each other, and the God who is faithful. Take care of those who need to be taken care of. Be fearless, and tenacious. And be willing to go to those places that seem like foreign territory, knowing that God will find you there.

Perhaps it’s not strange after all that the wisdom that frames this comes from a mystery that is fiction but rings true. Maybe the writer Louise Penny is more of a theologian than she realizes or intends. Or maybe God is just showing up all over the place for us, marking the ways that will lead us forward.

Blessings on you all.


[1] Louise Penny. Still Life. St. Martin’s Minotaur Press, 2008.

[2] Ibid


Saturday, August 25, 2018, The Funeral of Nadine Neuburg Doughty

Kristin White

Words matter. This was something Dee Doughty knew. She knew what it meant to search for the words that fit a particular situation. Her careful phrasing of a spoken response reflected this, as did her thoughtfully-written letters…as did her poetry.

I first met Dee six years ago, in the first week we moved to Wilmette, the first meeting at St. Augustine’s that I attended – even before my service here had officially begun. The Christian Outreach Commission gathered on a warm evening the last week of August. Dee and Bill had been founding members of that group, decades before that night, working toward justice and peace in this community and beyond. Dee talked that night about feeding people who were hungry, and about living and serving among the people of Honduras; she talked about ministries that had grown from those experiences.

I would learn quickly that, as carefully as Dee chose her words, she was equally intent on ensuring that her words were consistent with her actions.

Her love for Bill, her husband of 62 years, was evident in the words Dee spoke and also in their near-constant companionship. Her love for this remarkable family – Dick and Roger and Bruce, your spouses and your children – was evident in both word and deed.

Dee also loved this church, where she and Bill have made their home for nearly 50 years. I pray that all of you who are here know yourselves enfolded in that love, now.

Words matter, and the words that Bill and the Doughty family have chosen for this day were chosen with the kind of care I imagine Dee would have wished, words that reflect who she was.

The first reading, from the prophet Isaiah: “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the oppressed, to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty and release…”

Dee lived from a posture of service to others. As a wife and mother, as the manager of the St. Cyprian food bank, as the program coordinator for the North Shore Senior Center, as the editor of Chicago’s Anti-Hunger Federation, as a volunteer chair for the CROP Walk to end hunger, Dee sought to bring good news, to bind up what was broken, to proclaim liberty in both small ways and in great ways. She sought to make the world a better place, and she worked hard to do that.

The second reading, from the Revelation to John, says this: “I saw the Holy City, the New Jerusalem…and I heard a voice saying, ‘See, the home of God is among mortals. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them; God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.”

Dee was a person of deep faith. The poems of hers that I have read are best expressed as prayer – including the one actually by that name, which we will hear members of St. Augustine’s choir sing just before communion: “I cannot merit what (God) gives, the blessing of his saving grace,” Dee wrote, “Yet I’ll try with grateful heart to live, that at my end I’ll see his face.” And that is true – her faith found expression in gratitude. She had language, chosen with particularity, in thanks for all that she had been given, and a grateful heart toward the author of all those good gifts.

Words matter. And the words of the gospel proclaimed by our deacon, the Rev. Sue Nebel, resound this morning as we recall Dee’s life. This passage comes from the Farewell Discourse, the point at which Jesus knows that he will be leaving his friends, the disciples, and so he is saying goodbye to them.

“Do not let your hearts be troubled,” Jesus tells his friends. “Believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am there you may be also.”

Dee Doughty was a person of service, a person of deep faith, and a person who manifested love. The words of this passage are interpreted in the English as mansions or dwelling places. But one of my seminary professors, the Rev. Dr. John Dally, translated the Greek differently – rather than reading the language as God’s house, he read it as God’s own heart. That is the place Jesus is going to, by this interpretation, the place he will prepare for his friends and disciples to follow him to – the place next to God’s own heart.

She loved you, Bill. She loved you so very much. And she loved you, Dick, Roger, Bruce, and all your family. She loved you, church, and friends, and all who were her community. And the thoughtfully-chosen words of this passage offer a promise wrapped in a mystery: that God’s heart has room enough for us all, that death is not ultimate…because there’s more. Because love wins.


The illness that Dee suffered, a version of Parkinson’s Disease, claimed something of what was precious to her by making it more difficult for Dee to choose her words, as she neared the end of her life. She was quiet during many of those last days.

I had been away with family at the end of June, and came to see Dee on the Fourth of July, shortly after we returned home to Wilmette. She was awake that day, but mostly spoke under her breath. I wasn’t able to hear much of what she said.

And then we shared communion. In preparation, we prayed the words of the 23rd psalm, the last piece of scripture chosen carefully for this day. Words matter, and these are words that Dee knew by heart:

"The Lord is my shepherd;

            I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures;

            he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul;

            he leadeth me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil;

            for thou art with me;

            thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies;

            thou anointest my head with oil;

            my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,

            and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever."

May it be so, dear Dee. May you dwell there, right next to God’s own heart.

Sunday, August 19, 2018, The Thirteenth Sunday after Pentecost

Kristin White

“Turn from evil and do good,” the psalm we just prayed reminded us. “Seek peace, and pursue it.”

Until a few days ago, I did not know who the Rev. Dr. Katie Geneva Cannon was. In 1974, she was the first black woman ordained a pastor in the Presbyterian Church. In 1983 she would go on to be the first black woman to earn a Ph.D. from Union Seminary.

Dr. Cannon is the architect of womanist theology, taking that term from Alice Walker, who described it this way:

A womanist is “A black feminist, or a feminist of color…usually referring to outrageous, audacious, courageous, or willful behavior. Wanting to know more and in greater depth than is considered ‘good’ for one. Acting grown up. Being grown up. Responsible. Serious.

“…Traditionally capable, as in: ‘Mama, I’m walking to Canada and I’m taking you and a bunch of other slaves with me.’ Reply: ‘It wouldn’t be the first time.’

“Loves music. Loves dance. Loves the moon. Loves the Spirit. Loves love and food and roundness. Loves struggle. Loves the Folk. Loves herself. Regardless.

“Womanist is to feminist as purple to lavender.”[1]

I had heard of womanist theology but I did not know it, until this past Tuesday when my friend and colleague the Rev. Jane Henderson shared a link with me to a keynote address that Dr. Cannon gave for the Women and Ministry conference at Princeton Seminary last year.[2] Titled “Thinking with our Hearts and Feeling with our Brains,” Dr. Cannon presented womanist theology as a system that demands integrity at its core: demands the integration of body and mind and spirit; demands the integration of women and men; demands the integration of people – who for generation upon generation have been treated as something less than fully human – demands that they instead be recognized as the reflection of the divine image that they are.

How could God want anything less than that? How dare we aspire to anything short of it?


As I listened to her talk and reflected on the readings for this week, the piece I could not get out of my head was this verse of Psalm 34: the call to turn from evil, to do good, to seek peace that is lasting and real.

The psalms give us words for praise, but that praise has never been fully lived when it is disembodied, when it does not have substance within it. Something important and necessary is lost, if we sing songs of praise here within these walls on Sunday mornings and then forget the claim that gift of grace has on our lives throughout the rest of our days.

“The psalmist does not separate the practice of praise from a life of justice and peace.”[3] Living our lives of faith gives us the opportunity to tie our praise to substance, to be integrated in word and deed as we depart from evil, and do good, and pursue peace.


There is a peculiar quality to the relating of trauma in a manner that strips it of interpretation, so that the fact of what has happened can stand on its own, can become its own wisdom, its own citation of evidence. That is the style Dr. Cannon used in her telling of each piece that she laid out in its own right, in that keynote address she gave at Princeton…syllable by footnote of sacred memory in history.

She described herself, as a child of five years old, who knew by heart: the Lord’s Prayer, the King James Version of the 23rd Psalm, the Beatitudes, and the questions of the Catechism – as well as her appropriate responses.

And as a black child born in 1950 in Kannapolis, North Carolina, she knew as well that it was forbidden for her to attend the local public school where white children learned, that it was illegal for her to play on the swings at the public park, that the doors of the public library would not be open to her.

She described herself at that early age, wondering “What did we as black people do that was so bad?”

She described enslaved Africans shackled in the cargo holds of ships, so close that their faces were pressed up against the backs of the people in front of them, in a voyage that one of every eight people would not survive.[4]

“They had to learn to think with their bodies,” Dr. Cannon said.

And she described her great-grandmother, Mary Nance Lytle, who was born in 1832.  Her great-grandmother gave birth to fourteen children. Only the last, Emmanuel Clayton Lytle, Dr. Cannon’s own grandfather, was born free – four months after the end of the Civil War. Dr. Cannon described her great-grandmother, Mary Nance Lytle, re-gathering her children after the war. The legend of their family is that Dr. Cannon’s great-grandmother walked hundreds of miles, from plantation to plantation. “That one’s mine, and that one’s mine, and that one’s mine,” she would say, of children that had been taken from her and sold into slavery before their hands had lost their chubbiness, before their permanent teeth had come in.[5]

And child by child, she did it. Step by step, Dr. Cannon’s great grandmother put her family back together again. She refused the dis-integration that an unjust system had forced onto her and her family.

Isn’t that what it means to turn from the evil that would divide and disembody and enslave us? Isn’t our call to seek the wholeness and healing and reconciliation that a just and lasting peace, finally, is?


Every Friday morning, a group of us gathers in the chapel for Eucharist, remembering the life of a saint whose feast is somewhere in near proximity to that day. Many of that blessed company of witnesses whose lives we recall lived and died hundreds, or even thousands, of years ago.

The Rev. Dr. Katie Geneva Cannon died just eleven days ago, on August 8, of acute leukemia. What I know now is that I know people who knew her. She had dinner in my friend’s apartment in New York during the heady days of striving towards women’s ordination. She preached at the blessing of my dear friends’ union before it was legal for them to be married. The separation is not that much – it’s not told in decades or millennia, but in days and with people who knew her voice, and wit, and deep conviction, and faith in the God who wanted more.

I wish that separation was less.

I hope we will remember Dr. Cannon as one who called us all to turn from evil and do good, and who sought to do the same. I hope we will be inspired to think with our hearts, to feel with our minds.

I hope the church will know her for her legacy, as the great-granddaughter who refused the dis-integration that would have been forced on her by too many, but who instead said, theologically: “That one’s mine, and that one’s mine, and that one’s mine…” who sought to put all God’s family back together with honesty and courage and hope…to make us whole.


[1] Alice Walker. Definition of a “Womanist” from In Search of Our Mothers’ Gardens: Womanist Prose. New York: Harcourt Brace & Company, 1983.

[2] The direct quotes in this sermon come from the video of Dr. Cannon’s presentation at Princeton in 2017, linked here.

[3] Carlos F. Cardoza-Orlandi. “Psalm 34: Theological Perspective.” Feasting on the Word: Preaching the Revised Common Lectionary, Volume 3. Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 2008. 344.

[4] Katie Geneva Cannon. Katie’s Canon: Womanism and the Soul of the Black Community. New York: Continuum Press, 1995. 28.



What does it mean to be silenced?

Meghan Murphy-Gill

The Gospel of Luke, from which we read about the Presentation of Jesus in the Temple today, includes more stories about women than any other gospel. Luke tells us the stories of Elizabeth, Mary, Anna, Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Susanna, and sisters Mary and Martha. There is the woman who searches for a lost coin, the widow of Nain, a woman who anoints the feet of Jesus and wipes them with her own hair, and the women of Jerusalem who lament as Jesus makes his way to the cross.

In Acts, also by Luke, we hear about women disciples in the upper room and Sapphira, Tabitha, Lydia, Damaris, Priscilla, and Philip’s four daughters--who were all prophets.

By including so many of these stories of women, Luke, it seems, is the most woman-friendly of the four gospel writers.

Not so, says Scripture scholar Barbara Reid, a Dominican sister, and the person who taught me everything that ever stuck with me about the Bible. She says that in Luke’s gospel, “women are beneficiaries of Jesus’ ministry, and engage in charitable works, but are seen to have ‘chosen the better part’ when they remain silent and receptive.”

“Choosing the Better Part?” is in fact the name of Reid’s book on the Gospel of Luke. It’s a reference to what Jesus tells Mary when she chooses to sit at his knees to listen to him, while her sister chooses the harried work of hosting their guests.

Reid says that as readers and hearers--and preachers--of Scripture, in order to get at the good news of Luke’s gospel, we also have to choose the better part, and approach Luke with a careful eye toward what is actually happening to the women in the stories he tells. And from the Women’s Bible Commentary: “Once the negative side of this ambivalent tradition is recognized and worked with, the reader is freed in relation to the text. What is positive and promising in Luke's gospel can be explored with enthusiasm and even respect."

So with that in mind, I’d like to consider Anna in today’s gospel reading.


Luke gives us an elevator introduction to Anna. Right away, we learn that she is a prophet and the daughter of Phanuel of the tribe of Asher. She’s old, a woman “of great age,” and was only married to her husband for 7 years before she was widowed. She’s devout. She spends her days and nights praying and fasting in the Temple.

Details matter when telling a story. And Luke, a masterful storyteller, chooses his details wisely in order to make a point. He gives Anna a lineage that references one of the dispersed or “lost” tribes of Israel. As a widow, she’s a woman of special status. And she practically lives in the Temple where she meets the child Jesus.

These details all help to make Luke’s case for who Jesus is: the Lord’s messiah, who Simeon was promised to see before his life ended. The child Jesus the fulfillment of God’s promise to all of Israel. Jesus is what God’s people had been hoping for.

Anna’s presence in the temple and acknowledgement of the child Jesus is essential to this story.


As I read and reflected on the Presentation this week, I found myself thinking a lot about silence.

I know that many of us are able experience God in silence, particularly the introverts among us, myself included. When I am able to sit in a quiet, peaceful space and turn down the internal monologue that has a tendency to drone on and on, I am more able to listen for the voice of the Holy Spirit and notice the presence of God. In silence, I feel a little more like Mary, sitting and listening at the feet of Jesus, choosing the better part, rather than occupying myself with the to do items of my harried schedule.

But Anna was not silent when she saw Mary and Joseph bring their firstborn into the Temple. Luke tells us, “At that moment, she came, and began to praise God and to speak about the child to all who were looking for the redemption of Jerusalem.”

But while we are graced with the beautiful song of Simeon when he sees the child Jesus, Luke only tells us that Anna spoke, not what she spoke. He even gives Simeon an audience--Mary and Joseph--who react in amazement at what Simeon has to say. Luke doesn’t tell us how anyone responds to Anna.

Anna is not silent. Anna is silenced.


What does it mean to be silenced?

A particular story comes to mind. 156 stories actually. That’s how many women testified in front of Judge Rosemary Aquilina about the abuses they’d suffered at the hands of Larry Nassar, the USA women’s gymnastics team doctor.

Judge Aquilina might have a thing or two to say to Luke about the importance of allowing women to use their own words.

World-class competitive athletes, celebrated not simply in the United States, but on the world stage, as they competed in championships across the globe. My whole life, the members of the women’s Olympic gymnastics team have been household names for me and my family.

Like the prophet Anna to the Jews, these women are recognizable, celebrated. And like Anna, these women were silenced.

That is, until Judge Aquilina, in an act of what one Atlantic article called “transformative justice,” gave these powerful young women an opportunity to testify. And testify they did. One by one, for four days. All 156 of them.

“You are so strong and brave and you are not broken,” the judge said. “Your voice means everything.”

“Leave your pain here,” she said. “Go out and do your magnificent things.”

It is hard not to think of Judge Aquilina as a prophet herself. Her transformative justice offered these women a promise of hope.

But why had Larry Nassar been able to go on abusing so many women for so long, so many of us, having finally heard these stories, want to know. Why, for every 1,000 instances of rape are only 13 referred to a prosecutor? Why is sexual assault the least reported crime to law enforcement, with only about a quarter of crimes brought to the police?


Friends, I think that we have a lot of reflecting to do on who we, as a church, have silenced. In our theology, in our sacred Scripture, in our traditions, whose stories have we suppressed? Whose words have we ignored? What are the long-term repercussions of keeping some members of the Body of Christ on the margins because of their gender, race, sexual orientation, age, or ability?

And what do we do with Luke, as a denomination that acknowledges how God welcomes everybody, everybody, everybody to the banquet? As a denomination that has said officially that women should not be silenced in church? That public ministry belongs to everyone?

There’s a little irony to Luke’s marginalization of women’s gifts. Because Luke writes for a Gentile, not Jewish, audience. His message is universalist: that the messiah has come as a fulfillment of a promise to the Jews, but that Jesus is also for the Gentiles. Simeon sings: “for my eyes have seen your salvation, which you have prepared in the presence of all peoples, a light for revelation to the Gentiles and for glory to your people Israel."

So while Luke’s is the most inclusive of the gospels, he is far from egalitarian.

Is this oversight of Luke’s something we can brush off as a thing of the past, as Luke simply writing as a Greco-Roman to a Greco-Roman audience, and thus espousing those social norms for women and men?

I think that’s a tricky, even dangerous endeavor. Because while in some respects, it’s true. But it also is an easy way to dismiss our own current reality, to ignore the fact that we continue to swim in water that is not so unlike Luke’s world and that people continue to be silenced for their gender--and their race, their sexual orientation, their age, their ability.


I believe that reading Luke with an eye toward women is an opportunity. Luke, after all, is the gospel that we rely on heavily to learn what Jesus has to say about economic justice in the reign of God. Luke writes of God’s promise, not just to his Greco-Roman audience, but to us as well. Luke’s gospel begins with the story of the incarnation and ends with Jesus’ ascension. Luke tells us of Jesus’ ministry on earth, of his message and miracles, and how his preaching of the reign of God ultimately led to his suffering and death on the cross--a sentence meant to silence Jesus.

But Jesus, being the fulfillment of God’s promise of hope, of God’s promise of liberation and flourishing, was resurrected. In Jesus’ resurrection, we hear a resounding “NO” from God to the silence of death.

So, while Luke may have silenced the women in his telling of our Christian story, he offers us an opportunity to think outside of the water we swim in today. He gives us reason to imagine what the reign of God might look like here and now. He shows us how we might consider our own societal norms and ask, “Who is being marginalized? Who is being silenced? Who aren’t we hearing from?”

When we openly acknowledge the place of women in our church’s sacred stories--whether they have been suppressed or celebrated--we have the opportunity to truly allow the good news of Jesus Christ to liberate the silenced among us so they may join fully and sing loudly in our songs of prophecy and praise. 


Sunday, August 12, The Twelfth Sunday after Pentecost

Kristin White

The day my grandmother died, I wore her apron, and I baked.

Several of the things that were in her kitchen are now in mine, and I used them that day: her wooden-handled whisk, her bread pans, her metal spatula.

She was the one who taught me to bake. She won the Oregon State Fair for her pie in 1978, something I brag about more than I probably should, though I hope pride is maybe less a sin when it’s invoked on behalf of a girl’s grandma.

She taught me, first, to bake cookies; and she graciously overlooked how much gingersnap dough I snitched from the bowl as it chilled. Suffice it to say that first batch didn’t make the full four dozen cookies that her Better Homes and Gardens cook book had promised. A couple years later, when I was probably ten years old, she taught me to bake pie – apple, and berry – and the cream cheese pie that was her own creation after my grandfather was found to have diabetes. Finally, when I was twelve years old, my grandmother taught me to bake bread.

She made all kinds, and she baked it fresh every other day of my father’s and his three siblings’ childhood. But what I most remember was her cracked wheat bread. It was substantive, the kind of thing that kept you fed for a while, once you ate it. And my Grandma Rae was fastidious about its preparation.

That first time I baked bread with her, taken to distraction as I was, she put a pencil and a small spiral notepad on the counter next to the flour bin and mixing bowl, requiring that I make a hash mark for each cup of flour that I dipped and leveled and dumped into the bowl of her KitchenAid mixer. It’s possible that I rolled my eyes as I did it, but I followed her rules.

And oh, that bread, when it was done. It was something. When I held it in my hands, it was a like hers – warm and substantive, the kind of bread that would keep you fed for a while, once you ate it.


Today’s gospel hearkens back to the first lesson from last Sunday, from the Old Testament, the book of Exodus. In it, the Israelites wandered in the desert. And they took their protest up a level beyond pre-teenage eye-rolling…they murmured and complained, they cried out, saying that they wished they had died in Egypt instead of suffering such hunger in the wilderness.

God heard their complaint, and God provided; though in a way that required those complaining Israelites to follow God’s direction.

The dew around their camp lifted each day, leaving a fine substance that the Israelites could make into cakes to eat – but only for that day. If they tried to hoard more than what they needed, it would rot. They had to take just enough, trusting that God would provide for the next day, and the next, and the day after that.

The Israelites could not save themselves in that wilderness. Without the quail that covered their camp at night, and the manna in the morning, without water from the rock, they would have died. If they were going to survive, the Israelites had to trust that God would provide, so that, as the psalm says, mortals could eat the bread of angels…because God provided them food enough.

Jesus begins today’s passage from the Gospel of John with a weighty claim: “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry, whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.”

Well. The people…they start to complain.

“Who does he think he is, with all this ‘I am the bread that came down from heaven’ business? We know where he comes from, backwater little town that it is. We know who his parents are…”

Jesus is undeterred. He goes even further. “Stop complaining,” he tells them. “Whoever believes has eternal life. I am the bread of life. Your ancestors ate manna in the wilderness and they died. This is the bread that comes down from heaven, so that you may eat of it and not die. I am the living bread. Whoever eats this bread will live forever.”

The story of manna, the story of this gospel, is not just about people having what they need to survive, blessing though that is. The heart of both of these passaged is about trust. As God feeds the People Israel, the people learn something of God’s wisdom, they begin to know what it is to abide in God’s law.

And learning is not always a gracious process. Discipline is hard. People who have been disappointed and hurt more easily expect to be disappointed and hurt again…and who among us has not had that experience? So the people grumble and complain: in the story of Exodus, in the story of John’s gospel, in examples of this present moment that probably many of us could relate. God’s people have experienced salvation and yet they do not fully trust in the God who brought it to pass.[1]

“God’s gift of manna in the wilderness is intertwined with God’s commands.”[2] And this is something more than a theology of transaction: a holy notion that if you do this, you will get that. No, this is covenant, rich with faithfulness and promise. “And Jesus (the bread come down from heaven) is life-giving in the very same concrete ways that the manna was”[3] for those Israelites out wandering in the wilderness. This was a substantive and faithful promise, one that would keep you fed for a lifetime.


I baked bread this past Monday, in preparation for my mother coming to visit, to spend time with Grace before she leaves for Germany at the end of the month, and to help us begin to pack. I made bagels, actually, for our breakfasts: gluten-free, according to our need. And they were good enough and easy enough to make and eaten quickly enough that I ended up making a second batch again halfway through the week.

As I prepared this sermon, I tried to imagine what my Grandma Rae’s reaction would have been to the way I cook and bake now, wedged in as I am able to do it among a bunch of other things, using different recipes and ingredients than what she had available. I imagine she would have been both curious and delighted….and then diligent about finding the best way she could to prepare the food that we needed. My guess is that she would have gotten right to work on that, and then taught me again what I needed to know.

It was never only about those precise measurements, though they did matter; but more than that, she wanted to create a thing that was necessary for all of us. And even more than that, it was about taking the time to do something that mattered, to teach what she loved to a person she loved, so that I could do that too.

I wore my grandmother’s apron on the day she died, and I baked bread that was substantive – the kind of bread that would keep you fed, once you ate it. I dipped and measured and leveled and, yes, I counted, because that was how I knew it would work. Because my grandmother had cultivated a relationship with me of knowledge and trust that I would have what I needed.

God finds all kinds of ways to show up for us in people who surround us, as Jesus did with those he loved, manifesting the covenant of God’s word that continues to feed us – so mortals can eat the bread of angels. Because God will provide us food enough.



[2] ibid

[3] ibid